because I know that I can never have you.
Hiatus. Not that it matters much,
Thanks, carynne0 for all the love.
twist.i want what you can offer, more than i want youtwist. by kt-pl
and maybe that's the sad part,
the fact that I have to pull myself together, for you,
but see my insides break apart,
break apart at seeing you,
knowing that the warmth the afterglow was too good to be true
that i was never really in, and i never really came close
to what could have been real, had i chased you,
had i chased what i had wanted
and prayed for but maybe that's all you are.
i keep telling myself this, that i love your sweetness in my head
and not your sweetness in my eyes, but you showed me up,
broke my expectations, exceeded what my mind has conjured
but it's all useless, anyway denial, i mean,
because it is all for nought, and all you did was
look the other way, with your hands still outstretched towards me.
but i'm not blaming you. and i'm not blaming me, either.
it's not our faults that hearts were made
penetrable, but ceaseless.
-non-sensered-non-sense by kt-pl
like the vibrant tone of violins in the background
like the succulent-sweet notes of the guitar
like the warmth of the tenor
like the liveliness of the flute
like the chill-quiet of piano keys
like the sombre sound of the rain against the pavement
like a scream-shout for tomorrow
frustrateevery time you say my name,frustrate by ohsostarryeyed
i hear 'i love you' in its place.
the insistence on apathy,
the determination to stay neutral,
is a constant stutter.
i want you to allow yourself
to want me,
to tell me what it feels like,
to know what i am.
i have nothing holding me back
but two arms like thin vines
grown on another girl.
she is why i am afraid
to love you
eighteen and still heartbroken.
i need to get out more. ergo, hiatus.
written entries at Tumblr. reblogs at This Other Tumblr.
you're clearly anonymous enough to follow those, so for so long as i don't know you in real life, it's fine.
Favourite genre of music: whatever sounds good.
Favourite photographer: what photographer?
Favourite style of art: style?
Operating System: winmacux
MP3 player of choice: brainnnn.
Wallpaper of choice: plain black.
Personal Quote: there are no words.